Thanks to Chris for pointing to this earlier today when Jeff was bored. [Yeah, I know, the pidgin's not bad, but I laffed.]

“After the mauling last week by Mississippi’s bulldogs down on the plains, and then last night’s mauling by Georgia’s dogs in Tuscaloosa, we just had to take a stand,” said Riley in a press conference held on the Capitol steps Sunday afternoon. “We’re here to say that, in Alabama, bulldogs are considered harmful.”

State Senate leader Lowell Barron (D-Fyffe) followed Riley to the microphone. “We support the governor in this cause,” remarked Barron. “Shoot, Senator Bishop called me crying last night, and I decided we could bury the hatchet in the bulldogs of this state rather than each other.” A teary-eyed Charles Bishop (R-Jasper) silently nodded his agreement from his position to Barron’s left rear on the dais, marking the first time the two had been within ten feet of each other without Alabama State Troopers between them since Bishop famously punched Barron out on the floor of the State Senate back in June. “We gotta do this for the people of Alabama! If mutual hatred of bulldogs can bring me and Bishop together, we can bring the whole state together,” Barron stated before being sobbing and falling into the arms of Parker Griffifth (D, Huntsville).

Auburn head coach Tommy “Ears” Tuberville received word of the bulldog ban with joy. “Just Thursday, Brandon Cox was walking down by Toomer’s Corner when this little old lady and her bulldog scared him so bad, he threw another interception.” Tuberville refused comment on whether this would affect Cox’s playing status.

News of the ban was not well-received on the hill at Alabama A&M University, whose mascot is also the Bulldogs. President Robert R. Jennings, under fire for perceived wrong-doings in his first year as president, seized upon the opportunity to distract the AAMU Trustees and students from investigating him. “This outrage will not stand! Once again, the folks in Montgomery have forgotten us up here in Normal,” Jennings said when reached via telephone. UAH President Dr. David Williams would not comment on the record, but did indicated off the record that he expressed concern over the broad brush applied by Montgomery. [Ed.: Williams also wanted to discuss the matter of UAHuntsville on the record, but our reporter hung up the phone on him.]

University of Tennessee football coach Phil Fulmer expressed concern of the state’s mistreatment of dogs. “What next?” he asked. “If we beat the Tide on October 20th, are blue tick hounds the next thing to go?”

Michael Vick’s attorneys had no comment on the matter.

[Thanks to Bulldawgs.com and Mississippi State for images of their respective mascots. Oh, and for beating both Alabama and Auburn and making my week. I love it when the Tide and the Aubies both lose. Warms my heart.]

It runs a little long, but it’s wickedly funny. So funny that, when we first watched it, I thought Scott was going to laugh himself into hyperventilation.

Good stuff.

Okay … so yeah, I’m a nerd.

Screamingly funny if you’re a sleep-deprived geek at 11:30 on a Friday night.

319. Latrell Sprewell and Sam Cassell (tie)
Trading for an NBA player with baggage is like dating a girl with baggage – maybe you’ll be happy for a few months, but there’s a 95-percent chance it’s going to end badly. (And I mean, BADLY, as in, “Why does it hurt when I pee?” or “I wonder who left 59 hang-ups on my answering machine?”)

If you’re not laughing, you’ve clearly never dated a girl with baggage.

I didn’t even read the paper [I'm not enough of a student of Hindu culture and religion to get many of the jokes], but that some college student thought she could get someone to write a paper for her in 2005, a year smack in the middle of the nascent Weblog Era, and not have the other person on the end 1) mess with her and 2) get her caught? Wow.

She gets whatever punishment the school metes out to her. We get a little Schadenfreude in the meantime.

Trey, you should so be all over that.

Actually, no.

From: Doug Morris
To: Geof Morris

I should have this bookmarked — but what’s the web address for your wish list on Amazon?

I saw the new video game Ron Artest’s Punch Out — but didn’t think you’d want that.

I absolutely lost it at Ron Artest’s Punch Out. That just made me giggle for a few seconds.

But any how … Geof Morris’s Amazon Wishlist … for your gift-buying needs. [As if you need to buy me anything. This is posted for the three people who'd actually need it.]

That’s a delightfully evil prank. If I still worked in Building 1 …

[HT to FG.]

Some typos, though, are worse than others. Consider:

There are three typos in this screen cap, but one is clearly a cut above the rest.

Yes, I personally think that Allen Iverson is a game-winning shit.

[Hat tip to Scott for catching this.]

[At least Rick is finding this funny.]

[I really can't rip of Keillor mercilessly here, can I?]

Roger has posted the .net Rabbit Scene published. What always amuses me about this one is that Michaela is dating a guy named … Tim. That’s why she got the role of enchanter.

Using Richard and Zac to read the bits out of the Book of Armaments is also great; they have a great capacity for long, profound AYOR posts.

As you can tell, I’m unhealthily amused by all this. Not often I get to be king, though. [That's why I really grew the beard, by the way.]

In honor of John introducing me to the word, I present the following:

That, folks, is an asshat–not for his support of the Democrats—although YMMV!—but purely for having an ass on his hat.

[I need a laugh this morning; the boss and the other engineer leave town today, and, predictably, the great bowels of CMC have finally begun to move. Fun times.]

I can’t decide whether it’s funnier to explain the inside .net jokes or just let you guess…

Simply hilarious. Nice work, Keith.

Must … stop … giggling …

• Wackiness: 20/100
• Rationality: 44/100
• Constructiveness: 62/100
• Leadership: 38/100

You are an SECF–Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you’ve made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.

You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don’t get mad, you get even.

Please don’t get even with this web site.

Reactions:

1. Just because I haven’t had a haircut in two months and am resultantly shaggy doesn’t mean I’m a hippie. It means that I’ve not made the time to get a haircut.
2. My politics aren’t left-leaning. I’m very much a centrist. Would a left-leaning person have voted for Bush in 2000? I dare say not.
3. “You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold,” and you can get out of my head now, jerkface.
4. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m more of a leader than a follower.
5. How on earth am I only 22% wacky? I know a lot of people who call me wacky, thanks.

Marginally amusing; I find that I fit more of the alternate personality types than this one, especially on the R/E F/L spectrum. [Hat tip to Eric Meyer.]

WordPress will have the Internet for lunch, followed by a satisfied burp. WordPress wanted Smiley and so, it now has Smiley. WordPress wants Mic. It will have her. WordPress likes cake, by the way.

WordPress is the new Fatmouse.

N.B.: The Smiley in question is Mark Smiley; the Mic is Michaela Forbes, who has repeatedly and vehemently stated her objections to using WP without any rationale. I still like her, though.

This is perhaps funny only if you have seen Fatmouse.

So sue me … I need a cheap laugh right now.