I forget where I first ran across the concept, but when I heard about it, I not only agreed with it, I was definitely very much practicing it: having a personal board of directors. What’s that? Think of yourself as a corporation: you have stakeholders in your life, sure, but there are people that you know that, for some reason, you respect as role models or wise counsels in different facets of your life. [Please note that when I discuss role models, I certainly mean to refer you to my previous statement here on role models.] The concept of a personal board of directors shifts that concept a bit further down the line: these are the folks whose counsel that you seek again and again on a variety of subjects.

Just as with a corporation, your board is going to change: sometimes, you change jobs, so you’ll lose regular contact with the workplace mentors—folks in and out of your direct-reporting architecture—with the folks whom you keep in your circle. [If I sit down and think about the people I have on my own board from my workplace, only one is in my direct-report organization---my boss. Everyone else is either someone who has left the company or, oddly enough, works in our Quality organization. Dad must be proud of that. ;)] Just as with other relationships, friends who were close to you at one stage of life aren’t later on, and your lack of contact sees you relying on them far less. [The reverse, of course, is true; sometimes you find that new friends are people whom you quickly put in a position of trust.] And then, if you’re me, one of your old role models ends up shattering all that.

The key, as with any kind of investment, is diversification. Have people near and far in whom you place trust. Have directors in various facets of your life. Mine fall in various places: my parents, good friends of mine here in town, colleagues present and past, folks from various church organizations of which I’ve been a part over the years, and partners in crime. These are people whom you should be able to name when you stop to think about it, but stopping to think about it is important. What should you ask yourself? “Is this a person whom I want having a say in the direction of my life?” is quite a fair question, one you’ll ask with friends and family likely most often. Now, I love my parents and have a very good relationship with them, but not everyone is blessed with parents like my brother and I have. Some folks are going to be taking their parents’ counsel when it’s simply not worth it, and that’s sad but something you need to get away from. Additionally, you’ll have some friends whom you realize you’re hitting up for advice again and again, but then come to realize that, hey, that’s a bad idea.

What’s another good question to ask? “Do I have enough people from all facets of my life?” If you have people in your career in whom you place no trust, you probably are not really all that invested in your career, and you need to think about changing careers. One person—whom I won’t name—where our relationship is definitely that we’re mutual directors for each other as much admitted to me a while back that he didn’t have this, and it’s one reason that he’s looking hard at a career change. It’s a change that I support, even though I have given him a lot of grief about it in the past.

And that’s another thing: do your directors always tell you what you want to hear? If so, you’re probably not getting good advice. You should be troubled and frustrated from time to time when you see the counsel of people that are important to you, because sometimes, you’re doing things totally wrong and that person will have the perspective to say, “Hey, wake up!’ My aforementioned friend approached me about his career change and felt like I’d long been one of the people holding him back on such a thing; I told him that the previous advice I’d given him was because I didn’t feel like he was committed to the prospect of change in the past, so I was being fundamentally conservative with my advice.

If you’re reading this and can name a group of people—on two hands!—in whom you have placed trust and respect, keep on doing that. Having more than ten folks is probably unwieldy and likely has strong overlapping anyway. Having too few folks means that you’re probably not getting enough diverse advice in your life. If you don’t have enough, intentionally seek out mentors in your life—find people who are doing what you’re doing or what you want to do and ask for advice. Talk to them about your situation. You’ll see where that leads you. If you don’t invest in your friends and family, start! Nobody’s got it all together, and we can all stand to hear from folks about our direction in life.

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least.

– Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield, Letters to His Son, January 29, 1748

We may give advice, but we do not inspire conduct.

РFran̤ois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Reflections, maxim 378