I’m in a weird spot right now.

I spent the better part of nine months off-and-on chasing Heather, a wonderful girl who, in the long run, probably was not good for me. [Read: I'm letting myself down easy.]

Heather is now dating Anthony.

Anthony lives one door down from me in this apartment.

That means that, from time to time, Heather is here … in my apartment … under the arm of one of the better friends that I have.

I look back over the whole … whatever … and wonder if I was getting mixed signals or missing the OUT sign the entire time.

Either way, well, I feel like an idiot about it all. I’m hoping that writing about this will exercise the last bit of the weirdness that I have with it.

Why am I acceding to this so well? Before I ever was interested in Heather&emdash;in the days before she broke up with her ex- and got back on the singles’ meat market&emdash;I’d always said to myself, “She and Anthony would work out quite well.” My having interest in her dawned from the moment I met her, but it was some time before, well, I had the self-confidence about it to think that maybe we could be a thing. So it’s not horrible, this thing, but it still has kicked me right in the head a couple of times.

If you’re wondering what brought this on, well, consider it a product simply of being able to test out private entries on IJSM today and Heather emailing Leonard and I about a donut sale this morning:

This is to let you know the Pep Band is selling Donuts next Friday! They are $4.50 a box and I expect you to purchase a box, not just cause I am the adorable red head, but because you LOVE the PEP BAND. If you want I’ll run them by the apartment for you. And let’s be honest, you want them cause its me. Hope you have a GREAT day!

Call me neurotic, but … okay, call me neurotic.

Time to just stop this all and hit submit.