The fact that it has been forever since I have posted here bothers me. Is it because I have put down my struggle? No. Is it because I have been busy? Partly; I have allowed myself to be too busy to slow down and reflect, to think, to consider.

I start graduate school on Wednesday, and this is daunting to me. Some ask me why I’m doing this study. Personally, I consider this training. I do not have a strong liberal arts background; rather, mine is quite weak. I must strengthen it through study, and this is as good as any.

Sir Francis Bacon once said, “Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man.” I have not been very exacting of late; my keyboard has been used for little more than idle chatter, much of it on alt.books.tom-clancy. Has this been fun? Yes. Has it been fulfilling? Certainly not. I have let my writing skills atrophy, and along with them have gone my reading skills. I am now a creature of my generation–I want it fast, furious, and full of lights.

This isn’t good for me, whether it’s junk food eating or junk food living. I know this, and while I am drowning in it, I wish to fly back to the top. I hope that I shall be able to do so. I know that if I will listen and trust in God, I will be fine. It’s just like learning not to panic whilst drowning–the panicking will kill you.

On a lark, I just put “study” into the Bible Gateway. It spit out John 5:39-40: ³⁹You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, ⁴⁰yet you refuse to come to me to have life.

I have done a many glorious things this summer with my church, but if I am to be accused of anything, it would be my refusal to come to Christ to have life. I must do so more often, lest my spirit die.