So I sit here, drinking water, hoping to forestall pain in the morning. I got silly drunk earlier for lots of reasons. My stress is mostly gone … workday stress is zippo. I left that at work, mainly. Relationship stress, well, it’s there, and if I think about it, I’m going to stress again … so I’ll try to avoid it.

Oops, too late.

First maybe, then no, then possibly. Probably high hopes on my part. Again. I can’t help being optimistic–it is my way.

I was an ass earlier. A complete ass. I remember most of it, and now that I think about it, I’m sick with myself. This is perhaps the best reason to consume alcohol only to the point where you get to feeling good but not to excess [er, the drunk continuum]: your inner jackass comes out to play and cause havoc. I’m firmly entrenched in maintaining my virginity until marriage, but if I get drunk, I rut like a wild mammal. It’s as ugly to think about as it is to write about, so I’ll stop.
You know, you do things like this and wonder, “What the hell was I thinking?” You just ramble on, not wanting to face your inner stupidity. That’s what I’m wanting to avoid–the stupidity that always gets me into trouble.

Wow, my ramble is really incoherent. Some of you probably think I’m still drunk. I wish that were so … I’d probably be asleep rather than rambling incoherently. Now the thoughts are trying to reorganize themselves, but they’re being quite painful about getting into line, tallest to shortest.

Hydration is good. It restores balance, and that’s decidedly what I needed. I got sleep earlier, and I needed that, too. Hard to sleep now … I’ll probably hit the couch for tonight so it’s someplace different. Blake and Todd are gone, so I can do that and watch TV and just not care. I think I shall.

Balance … yep, that’s what I need. And that’s what’s bad about drunken behavior … it is so unbalanced. I was called a gentleman earlier, and I guess I deserve that. Too bad that it doesn’t get me where I want it to, and then I resort to being a jackass.

Ah, regret. Enough wallowing. Let’s think about sleep.