It’s a gratifying feeling, being almost done with my engineering degree. I’ve just leaped another couple of hurdles today, and I’ll leap a few more of them tomorrow, and even more of them next week.

Right now, I’m writing this entry in a state of near-euphoria. Some things I’ve been worrying about of late have taken care of themselves, and things are just falling into place. I’m aware of the admonition of Paul in Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I know, this isn’t IM.o … but really, there’s a reason that I’m writing about this.

All through my UAH career, I’ve had this feeling of destiny, that this is what I should be doing. Even when I realized that I no longer wanted this engineering degree, I knew that there were many reasons for me to be here. They’re all very good ones–my experiences in SGA, my church home at Aldersgate, my friends, and even the failed relationships I’ve had. All of those reasons have helped define me in some of my most formative years, and if this wasn’t to be, my parents really would have let me drop UAH and go to Millsaps College instead.
As I’ve neared my degree, I’ve wondered–what would it be like to have done so-and-so? For example, during my freshman year of high school, we prepared for a statewide competition by having the director of the Bellhaven College choir come listen to us. He picked me and another of the basses out of the group and asked our choir director if either of us had any desire to be music majors. He told Mr. Weger, “If those boys will not pick up smoking, they’ll be fine singers by the time they get to college. And if they want it, I’ll give them a full scholarship to Belhaven if they’ll major in music and sing in my choir.”

To this day, I’m a bit dumbfounded by the fact that I got a scholarship offer three years before I could accept it. Of course, my wanton pride likes to bring it to the forefront. Of all the things I was happiest about at MSMS, it’s probably receiving the music leadership award my senior year that I most enjoyed. I didn’t get selected for MSMS Hall of Fame [their mistake, not mine, as my mom said at the time], but I did get an honor that was really good for me to get.

I have thought about how I’d be different if I’d gone to Bellhaven, or to Millsaps, or even had just flipped majors here and studied English like Dr. Szilagyi wanted me to do after my first semester. He said to me, “Geof, in thirty words or less, because I know you’re a wordy person, tell me why you want to be an engineer.” I think he realized then that I had a passion for writing–all evidence to the contrary on this and my other sites, where I usually feel as if I slap everything down and never really try to hone my craft.

But, you know, looking back the other night, the only regret I have was that I didn’t consider Dr. S’s offer for longer than five seconds. I should have done it, but I didn’t. The choice that I made–given free will by God to run amok and be stupid and run from his calling for me–was one I needed to make, I guess, given my nature.

No, I haven’t figured it out yet, and hell, I probably never will. But I realize that my journey shapes me into the person that I am, and as I recognize myself a child of God and know that my friends and family love me anyway, who am I to question my own choices?

I am reminded of Paul’s letter to the church at Phillippi: “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”