You People Scare Me
You really do.
No, not you, the normal readers of my site. No, it’s all you people who read nothing but personal sites on the Web as a way to get to know people. Many of you are great people … but some of you, well, some of you just scare me, and you bring out the worst in folks. Let me break you all down, just so you know.
1. The People Who Look For Interesting People’s Sites Just to Have Something to Read. I fall into this catgeory. So does Amy. We look for interesting people, because we’re both very interested in people. Amy is, I think, because she likes to write about people. I am, I know, because my vocation leads me to be interested in all of God’s Children–even those who deny him. Plus, hey, if you have nothing to do at work, how many times can you load up ESPN.com, CNN.com, or FoxNews.com before you just go stir crazy? Really.
2. The People Who Look for Life Partners on the Net. You people worry me. Once or twice, I’ll admit that I’ve chased after women I’ve found online. I think all us lonely guys do that. But there are good prospects here [shhhhhhhh ... I don't want to talk about it!], so hey. Those of you looking for love on a Web site worry me … do I have to utter the words Kaycee Nicole to remind everyone how it easy to misrepresent oneself on the Web?
3. The People Who Generally Become Obsessed with People on the Net. You people really worry me. The obsession takes two forms, normally: either you become really buddy-buddy with a person, just because you think they’re cool as hell, or you viciously attack them for real or feigned slights. If you’ve read ten Weblogs for any length of time, one or two of them have had this happen to them, whether they were the obsessed or the object.
But really. This goes back to the ageless question of why one writes online. I think I said it best a few minutes ago to Amy: “I write because it helps me organize my life, to make sense of it. I write online so I can be accountable to someone other than myself.” That’s oh so true: if I relied on self-accountability, I’m stewed.
Off to lunch, to go eat with three people who probably never read my Web site. Liberating, that.
All my remember ya? info is gone for some reason. Oh well.
Your entry sort of hit a nerve with me for a few different reasons. First and foremost, my boyfriend moved 800 miles or so to be with me. We met online. Ohhhh, horrible.
Why’s it so horrible? We met in person before he came to live here. We got along fabulously. And nearly two years after his move, we still get along fabulously.
While I wouldn’t recommend this course of action to anyone, I wouldn’t deny them happiness if they seem to have found someone that’s right for them. Even if that someone right for them lives 1000 miles away.
As with love in general, you can’t go looking for it. It just finds you. If you go seeking it out, you’ll end up in trouble. But if it finds you? Well, it might find you from thousands of miles away.
It’s a big world filled with a lot of people. People I don’t know. People I would never be able to know if it weren’t for the Web. So really, why should I have brushed Mark off when we met online simply because he lived in another state? Why should I HAVE to limit myself to those people who live around me? Doesn’t make sense.
I could likely write a whole entry about this very subject. In fact, I just might.
February 22nd, 2002 at 12:08 pmBut was online the only place you were looking for a guy, Lynda? I don’t see that in you. You strike me as the type that would have used many methods.
I don’t think you should kick such relationships away. LDR’s are hard to make happen, but one of my good friends, Amy, met her husband through a BBS. I’d say it’s worked out–no, their marriage isn’t perfect, but it is pretty good.
What worries me are the people that go through pages just to find people. It’s the same type personality of those who pore over personal ads to do the same. Just get out and find people, eh?
[The irony of my saying this is not lost on me. However, I have made my own choices right now not to be romantically involved, as much as I want to be. I am nothing if not contradictory. :D]
I think you’re absolutely right, Lynda, that you can’t seek love out. But I know of all too many people who do just that through the Weblogger/journal community … and it scares me. That’s my premise. [Certainly, I didn't want to offend you, as you came to mind as a counter-point to this while I was writing ... but I was trying to make it to lunch. :D]
February 22nd, 2002 at 2:57 pmfunny you mention the cookie not being read Lynda, mine’s never saved ;). not like it’s a big deal for me though.
i fall into the same category as Geof, i’m number 1. i don’t care one bit about obsessing over someone or finding love online (but i have something to say about this as well). i just want to find interesting people or even interesting entries. and these days, with everything being a lemming or meme and blogs being nothing but links, true content is hard to find.
ok now onto love. sure i’ve looked on the net for women but i did is passively. every female i talk to now (friendly or otherwise) i met through chat, not some lame personals site or matchmaker site. we met just through the act of finding interesting people to talk to, ya know?
now, my current love, i met online. we’ve met numerous times IRL (gotta love acronyms :D) and we get along great. but jess knows that i’m making the personal choice to not be involved due to work and school. we both understand this but we’re still in love. neither of us were seeking out love or even looking for it when we first chatted, that was just a nice thing that happened down the road.
February 23rd, 2002 at 1:16 am"…if you have nothing to do at work [or home], how many times can you load up ESPN.com, CNN.com, or FoxNews.com before you just go stir crazy?"
…thus my repeated visits to your site, geof. haha. that, and you usually have something interesting to say…
February 24th, 2002 at 2:58 pmThanks, victor. I think.
February 25th, 2002 at 1:33 pm