I surprise myself sometimes with the way I act in a large group. I can both be Mr. Introvert and Mr. Extrovert. Anyone who’s ever gone bowling with me knows that I am usually E to the max there–people on other lanes look at me and shake their heads when I do something stupid, like Sumo Bowling or Snap Count Bowling. I usually infect other people with my taunting and nutty antics.

Then there’s time like last night at Casa de Wondergeeken, where I sat in a director’s chair off to myself in the corner. Sure, I made snide comments about both Blade and The Mummy, but a lot of that is a defense mechanism for me when seeing blood, etc. [Hint: I'm not a huge fan of gore, whether bloody or Al or Tipper.] But I sat off in the corner viewing everyone.
Sean and Kat are easily the happy couple. I’m really glad I like Sean–I liked Kat pretty much as soon as I met her, and while she’s a bit…outrageous for my tastes, I can laugh with and at her with equanimity, and she makes my friends laugh, so that’s cool. Inigo Montoya and I, on the other hand, have a good ol’ raucous time, usually, especially when removing undesirable holly bushes.

Amy and Jeff have this scary way of reminding me of my parents at that age. Jeff, goal-oriented, engineer, reserved. Amy, struggling to find her place and career, frustrated with Jeff’s graduate school, thoughtful. In many ways, I don’t like to think about Amy and Jeff in that way, because it reminds me somewhat wistfully of my mother’s present state.

But when I reflect on that, I actually become happier–before her stroke, my mother was upset, angry, and semi-depressed all the time. Now she actually seems a good bit happier. While some of it may be a front she puts up for us all, I really don’t think it is. Mom nows seems to grasp just how precious life is for her–as if she didn’t know that herself, what with cancer claiming her father, part of her mother, and even touching her briefly during my senior year at MSMS.

Ahhhh, MSMS. Home to geeks from all over Mississippi. Yeah, they exist there, albeit not in large numbers and without the speech patterns most would associate with geeks or Mississippi. I met Rick there, and while we always haven’t stayed in the highest level of contact [95% of that is my fault, Slick], we have remained friends. At times, I feel like an older brother to Rick, that he seeks my approval of things. I don’t know, maybe that’s my over-inflated sense of self-importance talking. But I know he was happy that I liked Jessica when I first met her.

It’s been interesting to watch Rick become ass-laminated into the Geek Collective. Hell, Rick’s probably more of a member than I am myself. Somehow, this doesn’t surprise me–I often build very close relationships with one or two people, then remain good acquaintances with many others. That explains why I bare my soul to PJ and few others, or why I’m better friends with Todd over the rest of that group, despite having known Anthony for much longer.

The final thought that I’m struck with is this: your friends tend to be a reflection of pieces of yourself. That’s pretty true. Rick reflects my alpha male, competitive nature side. Amy reflects the deeper, thinking side that’s literarily bent. Jeff is the engineer I’d fear to be, one reason I run screaming from this field. Heather is the zany side of me, concocting mixed drinks on a budget and generally acting all wookie. Jessica reflects my sense of morality, even if she is one of those Episcopalian types. Sean and Kat I really can’t put into that picture yet, but they seem to remind me of the spontaneity that I do surprisingly have.

But we can all want something from each friend that we ourselves don’t have. Rick and Jessica have a focus that I disturbingly lack and desperately need. Amy has a kind, patient love, even if she doesn’t always, always show it. Heather has the ability to never appear to take anything seriously, and if there’s someone who needs to let go of things at times, it would be me. Jeff shows a dedication to his work and also a willingness to say “no” when necessary, or so I get the feeling. Again, Sean and Kat are harder to fit in this picture, but as I get to know them better, I hope to find how they reflect.

Remember, at the end, it’s not the money, it’s not the fame, it’s not the toys…it’s the friends and the relationships. I’d argue that the most important relationship is the one with Christ, but that’s a topic for another day.

Off to return to work from my lunch break, as it were.

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[Update: Gotten some good feedback on this; for those of you who don't know my friends, I've linked up to their sites in an effort for you to (hopefully) get to know them better. To all listed above: I love you all dearly, even if I can't spend as much time with y'all as I'd like to spend! --GFM]