My Weekend, in a Series of Brief Notes

Dear Need for Speed Shift:

Thank you for breaking NHL 10‘s months-long stranglehold on my Xbox 360. That said, we may have to renegotiate our business arrangement, because you once again soaked up four hours of my weekend night.

Your time is coming, as NHL 11 will be released soon,
Geof

Dear AppleScript:

Thank you for being fun and helping me manage all my audio stuff on my Mac. Thank you for also letting me pretend that I can program things from time to time. That makes me happy, even if it’s an illusion.

My only college programming class was in FORTRAN 77,
Geof

Dear long-neglected duffle bag:

Thank you for your many years of service in stowing my stuff. As I told Mom on the phone, I believe I’ve now had you half my life. You’ve been pushed out of service by bigger and better luggage, but I realized yesterday afternoon that you would be the perfect size for a recording gear bag.

Sorry about all the heavy mic cables,
Geof

Dear Waterdeep:

Thank you for putting out Everyone’s Beautiful. That was a perfect drive-home record last night.

Dear Don Chaffer:

Thank you for the final poem you read both nights this weekend. It made heaven more real to me than it ever has before. Your words were simple, but the imagery brought it home.

At least I waited until I got off the Interstate last night to start crying while thinking about it,
Geof

Dear melatonin:

I gave you up a few years ago when, well, you were contraindicated for depression. But now that I’m not a classical depressive, I’m allowed to take you again.

That was the first good night of sleep in almost a month,
Geof

Dear Audacity:

Thank you for crashing my iMac on Sunday afternoon. I mean, really? This is one bad-ass computer, and yet you brought it down by being very un-Mac-like.

Something is fucked here, Dude,
Geof

Dear Red Toyota Prius, Virginia Plates “BAMA 13N”:

The sign says SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT for a reason, dammit. Your slightly-above-the-speed-limit-but-not-really-in-the-fast-lane-speed choked traffic for at least 15 miles. I kept wondering what asshole was slowing things down, and then I realized that it was you.

The Bear would have pulled over into the slow lane,
Geof

Dear Christiana:

Thank you for the fine selection of a brewpub for dinner. My bison burger was excellent, and hey, I love a good Belgian witbier.

I still can’t believe Don hated on Belgian beer with both of us sitting there,
Geof

Dear Chattanooga:

Thank you for being in the Eastern Time Zone but yet being less than two hours from home. Your time warp effectively means earlier shows for me, which allows me to get home before midnight.

I hope you enjoy living in the future,
Geof

Dear TVA Bellefonte:

Thanks for being my favorite driving-home-from-Chattanooga waypoint. I love the way that your blinkenlights play off of the sky for miles and miles before I reach Hollywood. I’m just sad that TVA can’t get you completed.

I still believe in our nuclear energy future,
Geof

Dear Check Engine Light:

I don’t believe you. Last time you came on, it was my fuel cap being slightly loose. Thought I tightened that good and hard last night when I filled up in Falkville, but maybe I didn’t. But really, couldn’t you have come on tomorrow when I wasn’t 45 miles from home?

Sad that Subaru makes the Check Engine light cancel the cruise control,
Geof

Dear law enforcement officer who passed me and blipped his lights just east of Paint Rock:

Dude, seriously? I was driving 2MPH under the limit when you hit me with your radar. Sure, if my cruise was on, you probably catch me speeding at 6-9MPH above the limit. Thing is, I wasn’t speeding, and blipping your lights as you passed me was really disconcerting and made me jump.

I don’t know why you did it to the next three cars you passed, either, you asshole,
Geof