Others writing about their depression is what encouraged me to seek help last year, and while I started to just send those people an email, I realized that the best thing I could do is to pay it forward.
I’ve actively been under treatment for major depression for fourteen months, but what we’ve been trying for the last four or so just isn’t working. Things seem to work for 4-6 weeks or so, and then they stop. That, in part, makes me think that I’m seeing a placebo effect.
I should have seen my psychiatrist yesterday, but she was sick, so I’m going tomorrow. I met with my boss today, and if I need it, we’ll go after extended medical leave. Hospitalization is not out of the question if it is necessary—I was certainly ready to go there yesterday if it came to it.
I find no shame in any of this. My brain is not working as it normally does. That’s simply it. My concentration is shot, my memory is diminished. I am a knowledge-worker. I know if I am off of my game. I definitely am.
Friend, do not be ashamed of what’s going on inside your head, no matter what it is. If it’s not normal and needs to be treated, you should treat it. Societal taboos about mental health issues are starting to subside, and I think that the generation of those of us who have the power of self-expression through the power of personal publishing are likely to help with tearing those down.
I need help. You might, too. If I can seek it, so can you.
HI Geof,
Thanks for your openness. I don’t think I have been where you are, but I think most if not all people have had at least some fight with depression.
I pray that God will direct you to the correct help you need during this time.
As I see your tweets, feeds, etc., I will try to lift you up in prayer often.
Jeremy G.
Geof,
I’m really glad to see you have the ability to be honest an open about this subject. So many people try to hide it and cover it under a rug. I can’t say I know what it’s like to be severely depressed but I think I have a good idea having tried to help Leah through hers over the past few years. I’m glad to see your management team understands and is willing to do whatever it takes to help you get better. Let me know if you ever need anything. If you need to talk, someone to hang out with or just sit there and watch a game and not say a word. Hope your doc can help you tomorrow.
In my thoughts and prayers,
Jamie
I had social anxiety for a few years in high school which helped intensify my already present depression. I was one of the lucky ones who, after months of therapy and meds, was able to quit cold turkey and be ok. I credit God completely in that. It is still something I think I will always fight against. Some days the battle rages and other days I am mostly unaware of it. God is good in our weaknesses.
Thanks for the post G. (This is Laura)
Just last week I went back on my depression medication. Life was “too much” for me.. I was crying so much more (about stupid things) and I was bickering with Dan about everything. I was so reluctant to go back on medication, when clearly it’s a physical need, you know?
I’m currently reading, “The Road Less Travelled” by Scott Peck – it’s good.. it’s about psychotherapy.. something I’ve never had much interest in, but I’m beginning to think it’d be a good idea. I have bad luck with regular cognitive behavioural councilors..
But ya.. keep on talking about it. It’s when you stop being honest with yourself that you find yourself in trouble.
Love ya!