Late Bloomers?
Maybe my friends and I are late bloomers, but I look at talk about Things Teenagers Should Learn Before Going Out on Their Own and think, “Crap, that’s all stuff we figured out in college and just after then.” Speaking as a former youth counselor, too, I think that it’s unreasonable to expect that teenagers are going to be interested in learning this stuff … and frankly, teaching them how to handle alcohol is probably a bad idea. [Why? Even if done in the context of the home---and I think that can be done safely and legally, although rarely!---you then shove a kid out of the nest with two-to-three years where alcohol consumption is illegal. Do we really want to teach kids to flaunt their abilities to handle their liquor when it'll be illegal to do so? Probably not. And yes, please understand that I favor lowering the legal drinking age to 19.]
Maybe we’re just late bloomers?
[Or maybe I'm being a passive-aggressive ass and not coming out to say that I think expecting teenagers to get this is just horrible wishful thinking. Yep, okay.]
Silly sidenote: this is the first time in years where I wish that geek-chick.net was still alive, ’cause I could point to the lovely discussion there on lowering the drinking age. Of course, it’s likely that only Amy, Brad, and I remember that one. 
If my son doesn’t understand “Work to make your own money” by age 5, then I have failed in my duties as a father.
I’m dead serious.
September 5th, 2006 at 14:29Hey, I’ll allow that point. [I mean, I had a job at 15.]
September 5th, 2006 at 14:30I think I did learn some of these as a teenager. Many as a result of MSMS. Actually, I think I attempted most, if not all, of these as a teenager. I certainly did not learn to drink responsibly, but I did learn what alcohol could do the hard way. I went to Italy my senior year, and though I’m sure we were not as respectful as we should have been, I believe we tried to be, mostly by using what little Italian phrases we learned instead of just speaking English (sadly all I remember is Gratzi, Scussi, and Prego). And I’m still learning the cooking thing, but I had to clean and do laundry at MSMS. I got my first checking account at MSMS. I worked during the summers and saved some of that, plus my parents gave me a meager allowance and I had to make it work all year. I had a phone bill at MSMS. I travelled to and fron Norfolk, VA as a result of my summer job, also while I was at MSMS. I faced failure, I lost someone close, I experienced heartbreak, and I tried my hardest to manage physical and emotional pain. I had to go to the health center if I was sick. I had to face failures and successes and learn to deal with them, though I still struggle with both of those today.
And really, we weren’t on our own at MSMS with all of the rules, so I think each of these count. One I didn’t touch on there would be facing ridcule/bullies. That came much earlier than late high school. And the only one that I don’t think I faced at all was learning to take care of small children. That’s something I’m very much still working on, and wouldn’t expect a teenager to properly learn that.
Do I think I adequately learned how to do all of those things completely as a teenager? No. Most of them I’m still struggling with today. But at least I touched on them as a teenager while still in the care of others.
September 5th, 2006 at 16:22I’d argue that MSMS is an acceleration of the college life process, though—leaving from home, living in community with random people, etc. I take your point, and I admit that I was thinking more of the people I went to college with than the folks I really hang out with on a regular basis.
September 5th, 2006 at 16:24Yeah, I think it is an acceleration, but I still wouldn’t call it “on my own.” I’ll admit that I probably wouldn’t have learned many of those things without MSMS though. I think you learn a lot of these things by doing. Some of these are by chance and that chance may not happen until later in life, and you have no control of when it will happen (i.e. lose someone close to you).
September 5th, 2006 at 16:56I think your we “learn a lot of these things by doing” is apt and what I was really getting at [but never clearly articulated]. I remember trying to explain the college experience to my youth in high school [because they'd asked], and I just endeed up telling them that it was ineffable and to look me up after their freshman year. Those who did always reported that they understood.
September 6th, 2006 at 16:17Well, my college experience was anything but traditional, so I don’t have much more to go on!
September 6th, 2006 at 16:22Must not make Ole Miss joke.
Must not make Ole Miss joke.
Must not make Ole Miss joke.
And yes, I know what you mean by that.
September 6th, 2006 at 16:23hahaha that was sooo funny!
Well, glad you at least admitted you knew what I meant.
September 6th, 2006 at 21:25I had to think about it for a minute, but then I remembered your living situation.
September 6th, 2006 at 21:32